


Blind Fumblings

by snuffleslove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-01
Updated: 2009-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snuffleslove/pseuds/snuffleslove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes sight just gets in the way. Or when Sirius is forced to deal with his ~feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Fumblings

**Author's Note:**

> written for the 2009 rs_games (oh goodness i feel old) omg and there's capslock shouting in here. i apologize profusely.

The room was a silent, except for a Remus’s quiet, labored breathing behind a faded blue Hospital Wing curtain, but Sirius’s eyes were screaming.    
  
“Please don’t make me do this,” he begged James silently, but James shot him a nasty look, which made him look down, and turned to Dumbledore.   
  
“Professor, you’ll need to let us work out the logistics of it, and take a minute. And we’d like to be there when he wakes up. Will you give us a moment?”    
  
“Of course, Mr. Potter, take all the time you need. However, Mr. Lupin will need you to be strong for him when he wakes up. Madame Pomfrey expects that he will panic when he hears the awful news, and we are hoping that if it comes from his two best mates, he will be more consolable.”    
  
Sirius, Peter and James’s heads shot up at this.    
  
“You…You want us to tell him sir?” Peter mumbled, his eyes wide, but Madame Pomfrey intervened.    
  
“I understand that we are asking a lot of you boys, but even though poor Remus is used to bad news, we fear that this will be too much for him. We are trusting that you’ll be able to keep him calm,” she looked to James, who she knew had grown so much in the past 7 years. “And after all, we are hoping that the effects won’t be permanent. We are hoping that he’ll be back to normal within 10 days.”    
  
James looked at the rest of friends and knew they were all thinking the same thing. How were they going to tell their best mate that he was blind?    
  
***   
  
As soon Professor Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey had taken their leave to give them some privacy, James started in on his friend.    
  
“What the hell is wrong with you?” The three of them were sitting on one bed next to Remus’s. It was late at night, but they had been given permission to stay the night with Remus. The room was dark, so James couldn’t see Sirius’s his eyes, but he hoped that they would be full of shame.    
  
“Nothing,” Sirius muttered defiantly: ah, no such luck then.    
  
“The fuck there isn’t. It’s bad enough that you’ve been a complete dick to him these past couple of weeks, but now he needs you to take care of him and you refuse?”    
  
“Fuck off,” Sirius snarled. James glared at him vehemently, his glasses flickering in the candlelight.    
  
Peter spoke up quietly, trying to keep the peace.    
  
“Maybe there’s a reason Sirius doesn’t want to be Moony’s guide for the next week and a half. Maybe there’s something going on that we don’t know about, Prongs.” The two of them looked to Sirius for an explanation, but he didn’t offer one.    
  
“Then James is right, Sirius, you can’t desert a Marauder in his time of need. Remus would never do that.”    
  
“Why the fuck can’t you do it then Peter? Oh wait, that’s right, you’re taking too many remedial classes to have the time to be saddled with Remus.”   
  
“FUCK YOU PADFOOT!” James lunged at him, but Peter struggled to hold him back. “How dare you even suggest that taking care of Remus is a burden? He’s your friend!”   
  
“Did something happen?” Peter asked quietly, seemingly not taking offense to Sirius’s harsh words. “Did something happen between you and Moony?”   
  
“No,” Sirius mumbled, deflating suddenly, looking upset.    
  
“Then why have you been unable to look him in the eye or even hold a simple conversation with him?”    
  
“Don’t think we haven’t noticed,” James put in, his voice not losing its edge.    
  
“It’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius murmured softly; his voice had a curious shakiness to it, and James felt his anger slip away.    
  
“Sirius,” he said softly, squeezing his arm gently. Sirius pulled away quickly.    
  
“No, I really can’t talk about this. I’m sorry I made such a big deal about it. I’ll help Remus out for the next week. I’ll be his guide. We can tell Dumbledore in the morning. I just want to get some sleep.”    
  
Peter nodded and began to stretch out on the bed, but James stared at his friend a moment longer. He would get it out of his mate somehow. There was hardly anything Sirius could keep from him. He too stretched out on the bed next to Peter, but Sirius got up jerkily.    
  
“Where are you going Sirius? We can all fit here,” James called out.    
  
“Fuck no,” Sirius whispered harshly. “We’ll look like a bunch of fucking queers.” And he walked off to another bed.    
  
***   
  
The next morning, found the marauders clustered around Remus’s bed again.    
  
“Why isn’t he waking up Madame Pomfrey?” James asked worriedly, “He’s been out for more than a day.”    
  
“The wounds were harsher this time, more serious, though I can’t understand why.” James looked at his friends and they shrugged quietly.    
  
Finally, around lunchtime, he began to awake. James was sitting at his bedside.    
  
“Padfoot, Wormtail, come quick, he’s waking up!”    
  
“Prongs? What are you doing here in the middle of the night? And why is it so dark?” Remus asked groggily. James gulped.    
  
“Moony…you have to promise me not panic alright? And the damage isn’t even permanent, I promise. Madame Pomfrey says you’ll be healed in a week or so, good as new even!”    
  
“What happened James? Just spill it.”   
  
“Well, you…” he suddenly tucked his hand into Remus’s and squeezed.    
  
“Prongs...” James took a deep breath.    
  
“As a werewolf, well you, you scratched at your eyes, and Madame Pomfrey had to bandage them shut.”    
  
“I’m blind? I’m…blind? Oh god.” Remus paled. “No, no this can’t be happening. Please, god, no. Please be joking.” He began to feel at the bandages on his face. “No please, please take them off. Please James, get Madame Pomfrey to take them off. Please.” He was choking, and sobbing, his body convulsing in tearless shudders.    
  
“Shhh... Oh Remus, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” But Remus would not stop shaking and clawing, and James didn’t know what to do so he climbed in Remus’s bed, and held him tight.    
  
“Shh…I’m here, I’m here. Don’t worry I’m here. We’re here. Everything’s going to be fine. Madame Pomfrey is doing her best. You’ll be fine. This nightmare will be over soon, I promise.” Slowly but surely, Remus’s breathing slowed, and his body went still, and his eyes fell shut. It seemed like ages, but finally, he slept. James gently lowered him to the pillow, and without any hesitation, slung his arm over his friend protectively and laid there with him, not wanting him to wake up alone, and in the dark.    
  
When Sirius walked into the curtains, James’s eyes were open, and he was slowly breathing in the smell of Remus’s hair against the pillow, thinking.    
  
Sirius’s eyes widened when he saw the two of them in bed, and his face contorted into a mixture of expressions that James could not quite understand.    
  
“You dirty poofs,” he muttered malevolently, and stormed out of the room.    
  
“What’s wrong with him,” asked Peter, come in as he left, brow furrowed.    
  
“I dunno, but I have a feeling…”   
  
“It’s not good is it?”    
  
“No, it’s not.”    
  
The two of them were silent, listening to their friend’s soft breaths.    
  
“How did he take the news?” Peter finally asked.    
  
“It was awful Pete, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Remus like that, and quite frankly, I never want to seem him like that again.”    
  
Peter shuddered.    
  
“Where were you guys anyway?” James asked.    
  
“Dumbledore was teaching Sirius a few tricks to help Remus out in his office, and I was with him. We came as soon as Madame Pomfrey alerted us.”    
  
“Wait, Madame Pomfrey knew what was going on and didn’t come in to help me?”    
  
“Madame Pomfrey thought you were doing a wonderful job on your own, Mr. Potter,” Madame Pomfrey herself answered, coming into the curtained area. “I’m proud of you. You would make a great healer someday.” James blushed. “Let me know when he wakes up. I want to explain some things to him, but for now, I’ll let you all rest.” She left them.    
  
“Pete, are you willing to trade places with me? I have to see what’s up with Padfoot.”    
  
“Yeah sure,” He sat on a chair by the bed, and took Remus’s hand in his. James smiled, got up, and stretched.    
  
“Wish me luck,” he mumbled, and walked out.   
  
***   
  
“Sirius! I know why you’ve got your panties in a twist, and you can’t keep fucking hiding from me, I’ve got the map for fuck’s sake.”    
  
Sirius spun around in the empty corridor, but his face wasn’t defensive, it was defeated.    
  
“Fine, but not here then.”    
  
***   
  
“So, you think you know what’s going on do you?” Sirius asked quietly, when James made no effort to speak. They were back in the dormitory, James settled comfortably on his bed, but Sirius standing up and tense.    
  
“I know what’s going on.”    
  
“Well…?”    
  
“You’re gay.”    
  
“No I’m not!” Sirius’s eyes were panicked. “Don’t fucking lump me in with the rest of you disgusting people.”    
  
“1. I’m not gay, you know that. 2. Gay people aren’t disgusting. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”    
  
“The fuck there isn’t! It isn’t normal. It’s dirty. It’s sick.”    
  
“Since when are any Marauders normal?”    
  
“I’m not fucking gay James, back the fuck off,” he growled, but his eyes were filled with a crazed kind of panic. James stayed silent for a moment. Then…   
  
“Remus is a great bloke, Sirius. One of the best. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he said quietly, as reassuringly as he could.    
  
Suddenly, the fight went out of Sirius’s eyes. He slid to the floor against the wall, drew his knees up, and buried his face in them.    
  
James crossed the room, and sat beside him, putting his arm around his friend’s shoulder; Sirius shrugged him off.    
  
“Why are you touching me?! How can you touch me?! I’m disgusting.” His voice was broken.    
  
“Sirius…”    
  
“You don’t understand! I can’t be gay! I can’t be. My father would kill me, and…”   
  
“You’re not being ruled by your father anymore! You’re not a Black anymore, you’re a marauder.”   
  
“I just want to be normal. Just in this one thing. I just want to be normal.”    
  
“I’m sorry Padfoot.” James murmured, “but it will be okay. We’ll work things out.”   
  
***    
  
Sirius’s hands trembled as he reached to put on arm around Remus’s slender waist, and gripped one of Remus’s small hands in his.    
  
He pleaded with James silently to rescue him, but James only offered him a small smile.    
  
As soon as he could, he pulled away as if he had been burned.   
  
***   
  
He ran the water in the shower, and turned to find Remus trying to unbutton his shirt.    
  
“Do you mind?” Remus asked softly, gesturing to the string of buttons on his shirt, his voice embarrassed, and Sirius hated himself for making him ask.    
  
“Of course not, let me,” he said, and this time, he almost managed to keep the shaking out of his voice. With his fingers, he had no luck. Slowly, he unbuttoned each one carefully, revealing more and more delicious pale skin. He swallowed hard as he finished, pushing the shirt off of Remus’s shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.    
He was already half hard.    
  
Remus’s fingers tried unsuccessfully to unbutton his trousers, and Sirius refused to make him ask for this, and anyway, a small part of him wanted this, wanted this so much. He pushed his hands away and unbuttoned the pants.    
  
“I’ll do the rest,” Remus tried for nonchalance, but his face was burning. His hands were steady though as he pulled his trousers and pants off. Completely naked, he stood in front of Sirius, not hiding anything, and seemingly unconcerned save for small patches of red on his cheeks.    
  
He was fucking beautiful and it was all Sirius could do to take his hand and lead him to the shower, and not follow him in.    
  
He watched the water droplets trace patterns down Remus’s skin for a full minute; gazing at Moony as he arched his neck back, and brought his face up to the showerhead. He watched until he couldn’t take it anymore, and then he ran into the dormitory, collapsing on his bed.   
He was so fucking hard.    
  
After 10 minutes or so, he could hear his name being called from the bathroom, but he was too petrified to get up. He heard stumbling from the bathroom and then Remus appeared in the doorway of the dormitory, completely naked, and dripping.    
  
“Sirius?” he called softly. Sirius could barely suppress a groan, panting. Remus stumbled slightly, making his way over to where he thought he heard the ragged breathing, the third bed, his bed.    
  
He tripped over some shoes by the foot of the bed, and he put his hands out to break his fall and they landed on the bed’s occupant.   
  
On the bed’s occupant’s cock to be precise.    
  
Sirius moaned, and came hard, right in his trousers, from that single touch, and Remus jumped back.   
  
“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to… Oh god…” But his words were meaningless because Remus’s cock was hard, and he leaned forward blindly, trying to find Sirius’s face, so Sirius kissed him and pulled him down.    
  
“Help me see,” Remus murmured. And Sirius guided his hands down his own body, right to his cock, and together, hand in hand they stroked him, until Remus was a trembling mess, and god, please Sirius, fuck, and he was coming, and suddenly, Sirius wasn’t ashamed anymore.


End file.
